I wish I didn't CARE so much!

Sometimes I wish I was a totally different person. Mean and Nasty and sometimes COLD and Heartless. If I were like that maybe life would be a little easier, you think? With a different mentality, with different feelings, with different experiences, with different likes and dislikes. Sometimes I wish I could GO BACK INTO THE WOMB and change things! Start all over again. I know that some people feel the same way that I do. I know that I am not alone in the way that I feel. How do I know? I know because I have talked to people who feel my sentiments exactly. I know I am not alone in my feelings! I am a person that CARES entirely too much sometimes. I care for people that I should NOT care for. I have this mentality of compassion for people who really do not deserve it. Then I have another side that says DEATH TO THEM ALL. PURGE the world of it's WICKEDNESS, VICIOUSNESS, UNKINDNESS, WHO ARE UNAPPRECIATIVE and WHO COMMIT ATROCITIES, it's lack of COMPASSION, lack Of UNGODLINESS and EVILNESS! I GUESS I AM IN SORT OF MY NEGATIVE MODE RIGHT NOW! I KNOW that I should not feel the way that I feel sometimes BUT I do. I know it is apart of being human and a apart of being imperfect and apart of LIFE. Yes I know this. Everyone has their Good days and Bad days, their Up days and their Down days, and even their IN BETWEEN days. Especially us women with the hormonal changes that NO MAN can really or truly understand. There are so many things that go on in the world that affects ALL of us. Lord knows when these things affect our family, friends, and acquaintances then that is another story in itself! WHY AM I SO CARING? I think that I am a very caring individual! Others may not think so, looking at the surface, and maybe looking at my facial expressions and even listening to some off my responses BUT I AM ! If you talk to THE PEOPLE that REALLY KNOW ME, Which are a few to none. They would explain it to you. NO, the ones that know me are NOT ANY OF MY RELATIVES. I have not spent that much, or ANY QUALITY time with them individually for different reasons. I stand by that decision wholeheartedly. They have not spent that much time with me over the years to know the true INNER bits and pieces of me! The INNER person. There are a few people that USE to know my ends and outs, my ups and downs, my back and my forwards BUT Unfortunately they are not with the living right now. The ONLY person that REALLY and TRULY knows me right now is ALMIGHTY GOD! Well ME and ALMIGHTY GOD. I do know myself PRETTY WELL. Other persons may THINK that they know me, really don't . They like to "FILL IN THE BLANK" or they see me or understand me as I was THREE years ago. People change. Experiences and circumstances sometimes MAKES a person change. WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH! There is a saying that I GET IT FROM MY MOMMA. That is definitely true for me. I GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA. She was such a LOVING and CARING woman. THEY DO NOT MAKE THEM LIKE HER ANYMORE. WHEN THEY MADE HER THEY BROKE THE MOLD! I watched her help SOOOOOOOOOOO, SOOOOOOOOOO many people that I felt did not deserve to be helped. I know I was looking from the outside in BUT that is the way that I felt. She would STICK WITH AND HELP THESE PEOPLE FOR MANY, MANY YEARS! SHE WAS TRULY A CARING, and COMPASSIONATE, LOVELY and BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. I LOOK JUST LIKE HER. OH HOW I MISS HER SOOOOOOOO VERY, VERY MUCH! I MISS HER TERRIBLY! I MISS HER BEYOND MEASURE! THE QUALITIES she developed and displayed is exactly what she taught me. She was a true GODLY woman. MY MOMMA WAS NOT PERFECT, BUT SHE WAS PRETTY CLOSE! THERE YOU HAVE IT! MY TAKE ON THE MATTER! MY RANTING AND FEELINGS of EXPRESSION REVEALED TO THE WORLD. Let me know how you are feeling. You can rant and rave and express yourself to me! Please COMMENT, SHARE, LIKE, ADD AND SUBSCRIBE! Until the next time my EXPRESSIVE FRIENDS. BE KIND, BE COMPASSIONATE, BE LOVING AND YES BE CARING, BUT NOT TOO CARING. (LOL)