Life be can hard, actually very hard. Sometimes unforeseen occurrences happen and you fall straight on your face, right in front of the dirt. The sad thing is that you expect a friendly helping hand to protrude itself, and that may never happen. One day you are on top of the world and the next day you are under it. The people you thought were your friends really show they are not your friends, that they really do not care for or even love you because ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! . They give so much lip service but their actions are far removed from them. You feel so depressed and alone and that there is no one available to listen to your fragile, almost non beating heart.
At this point, all you do is allow the water to flow from your burning eyes and down your very sad face as you reminiscence. You reminiscence about what use to be, the love and the friends you THOUGHT you had. The ever so caring hearts that once claimed they would love and even die for you. Now is your ultimate time of need and where are they? All you hear are crickets and tumble weeds.
At this point you wonder if it can get worse and Yes, it does. The dirt that has fallen in front of you is not solid at all, it starts to sink. Now you are thinking what do I do next? Should I sit here on top of the dirt and allow myself to fall into the shallow hole that is beneath me. What does it matter anyway, no one caress, no one will miss me if I disappear, if I vanish. Sometimes you sit and wallow in the mud, I guess in this case you wallow in the dirt. You feel yourself fall deeper and deeper into the depression that no one understands. Your mind is scrambled, your thoughts are in disarray and your heart is entirely broken. You may decide to end it all, yes end all life, as you know it. It is too much to handle, too much to bear especially when you feel entirely alone.
Then all of a sudden something amazing happens. Something that changes it all! What is it? Your heart beats fast and your brain finally connects and YOU begin to REMEMBER. Remember what? Remember what? You remember the wonderful gift that was introduced and given to you by an extraordinary person in your life! Who is this wonderful person you may ask? This person was beautiful, magnificent, loving, kind, faithful, caring, giving, forgiving, godly and so much, so much more. This person gave me the gift of life, of love, of knowledge, of understanding, of LOVE, of LOVE, of LOVE, of LOVE! LOVE OF GOD and LOVE of MYSELF! Yes that person was MY LOVELY, DEAR AND SWEET MOTHER. I remember all the words she told me, the wisdom she shared with me, the lessons she taught me, the love, the bond and TRUE friendship that we developed. So as I reminiscence on those things I decided to clear my heart of the less than perfect feelings of despair, to brush myself off and move forward. Move forward to the fight! The fight to live, the fight to love and the fight to experience all of the ups and downs, the highs, and the lows, the good and the bad that life will bring my way!
I want to live, I want to live. I want to live because I am apart of her. I am apart of this magnificent woman that deserves to live on, live on in me. My mom is not with me anymore. I wish she were because I have so many wonderful things I would love to say to her! As I look in the mirror, as I get older, I see her! I am so very proud, very very proud, and VERY HONORED TO BE HER DAUGHTER!
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